A pile of dirt....a hole in the ground..... a cemetery.....
Many thoughts at a time like this...
Death 
Tears
Partings
Lots of memories
Why's 
Last conversations

How can it be, Beat, that it is 2 weeks since you have met Jesus ?

These last 2 weeks have been full of emotions...

Living in denial that you are actually gone, until I saw your cold body laying in that coffin.

Then I have this picture of you coming into heaven, meeting Jesus and then your Dad. I can imagine I hear your laughter rolling through heaven and every saying, Beat's home !!!!!!

I can imagine you running and leaping through the streets of gold !

And then I see all the new life around me that Spring is bringing , and I think what a beautiful time to go to heaven and meet Jesus.

Beat, I can not wish you back.to this life that is full of pain, crushed dreams..... I long to experience heaven too. To see Jesus and my Dad.....

Beat , this past week I have used your cookbook a LOT of times. As I serve the dishes, I receive a lot of compliments, I smiled and tell a few of them it was from your cookbook. It just makes me feel close to you...and the other day I told one of my helpers I wish I could text you about a recipe and she burst out laughing , which felt so good to laugh with her about it !!!!!! 

I have also been inspired to make each day worthwhile and to love and serve my King well as I cook and serve and listen and pour out my love to the "lambs" Jesus sends my way .

I love Christmas !!!!! There is so much" emotion" that goes with it.

Every year it becomes more precious to me. As the story of the birth of Jesus is shared with friends who have never heard it...to see their eyes and hear there questions, makes you realize more really how precious this story is.

A thought that "hit" me this morning...this baby that was born in a stinky, dark , lonely stable is MY KING . He was born as a KING  !!!!! He deserved so much better

....and yet I am the one who nailed him on the cross..It was my sin....He was willing to die for ME. 

He is my Healer, my Deliver....

Last night, one of the ladies from our tea party group said..."this Jesus has many names "!!!!! Yes He does and He is worthy of everyone !!!!!

Isaiah 53

Who believes what we’ve heard and seen?
    Who would have thought God’s saving power would look like this?

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
    a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
    nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
    a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
    We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
    our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.
We thought he brought it on himself,
    that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
    that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
    Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
    We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
    on him, on him.

He was beaten, he was tortured,
    but he didn’t say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
    and like a sheep being sheared,
    he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
    and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
    beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
    threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he’d never hurt a soul
    or said one word that wasn’t true.

 Still, it’s what God had in mind all along,
    to crush him with pain.
The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin
    so that he’d see life come from it—life, life, and more life.
    And God’s plan will deeply prosper through him.

 Out of that terrible travail of soul,
    he’ll see that it’s worth it and be glad he did it.
Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant,
    will make many “righteous ones,”
    as he himself carries the burden of their sins.
Therefore I’ll reward him extravagantly—
    the best of everything, the highest honors—
Because he looked death in the face and didn’t flinch,
    because he embraced the company of the lowest.
He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many,    he took up the cause of all the black sheep.

                                                 Father's Day

What does Father's Day mean to you ?

What are the first thoughts that come to your mind when you think of your Dad ?? 

Do you have great memories of  your Dad being your hero, the man who could do everything right, who could fix anything that you broke, taking you on dates, picnics, fishing, vacations, getting you your favorite treat at the grocery store ? 

Does he give you teddy bear hugs...a hug and kiss that makes you feel like you are his special friend.

Does he give you a grizzly bear hug...a hug that tells you he will pursue you, protect you, hold you accountable if you do wrong?

Is he your spiritual leader ? Does he take time to answer your questions when you have one and you don't understand. Does he let you wrestle with God when you have doubts. Is he there cheering you on and supporting you ?

Does he say " I am sorry "

OR

Are you alone? Your Dad is so busy at work...trying to pursue the top dollar, playing golf, fishing with his buddies, going away on hunting trips, hiding behind the newspaper, on the computer ?

Do you long to be your daddy's princess, to have him give you a hug, to wipe away your tears, to cheer you along ?

Do you hear only words of death spoken to you ?

Has he abused you physically ? Has he made you promise not to tell anyone and you are hiding behind a wall and in your heart you have a ton of pain ?

Do you long to hear you Dad say " I am sorry" ?

Do you ever hear the words "I love you " ?

These have been some thoughts "ripping" through my mind and heart. My heart is so full of emotion , of pain, when I hear once again of a young girl whose " innonency " was taken away by a man who only wanted to fill his desire and has no idea what he has done to the little girl.To the little girl who will grow up to become a lady and the ton of pain and questions and nightmares she has to go through....to find freedom and healing. 

The little girl in me is crying for her daddy too. As an 8 year old....I saw my daddy in a coffin,  his body put  into the ground...every June I miss him for his birthday and for Father's day.....I have great memories of my daddy. He loved us so much. And I have a heavenly Father who loves me so much and He also has sent other people into my life who have been that dad figure for me.

So today my heart is crying for the little girl who also is carrying a different pain. A girl who does not know her daddy. A girl who has been abused by her daddy or another man. A girl who needs to know she is precious....she is loved...she is valued....and it is OK to talk ...to share with someone ...to let someone into your life to help you walk through the pain and experience freedom in the Cross.

And also in my heart there is a feeling of heaviness, a feeling of anger at the men who abuse these dear innocent ones. Do you realize the pain you have put into the girls life because of your lustful desires? There is freedom and healing for you too. Jesus wants to make you free. John 8:32 You shall know the Truth and the Truth shall make you free.

I know there is no perfect dad, but blessed is the girl who thinks she does !!!!!!!

My prayer is that this father's day weekend can be a special weekend for you.

If you need healing , that you will experience healing......If you need to say I love you, or I am sorry...GO FOR IT !!!!!

Love the dad you have .....God has given him to you .

If you don't have one "adopt" one :)

Most of all my Heavenly Father loves you very much. 

        When life "hurts.....
                How do I respond when.....

....I find out my friend/mentor has cancer...

....A friend was so excited about the new life she was caring in her womb....then "devastating" news....no heartbeat anymore...

....A cousin who died "to young" when she leaves behind a husband and two young sons who need there mother...

....An Uncle never wakes up from his sleep...went to meet Jesus "while he was sleeping"

....A young son dies in a car accident...

....Another son drowns...

....You see an open door and you go to walk through it and God closes it...

....A dad dies and leaves behind a wife and 6 young children...

....A friend/young mother with a young family is struggling with Lyme's...

....You pray and pray and it feels like your prayers are not being answered...

God does care about our "hurts"........
He is carrying each of our "cup of pain".....When we have no strength left He will carry us through....

Here is a verse that really blessed me the other morning when I felt very weak and I could not go on.....

Heb. 12:12,13

So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs. Mark out a straight path for your feet. Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong !!!!

Yes my Father does care when life hurts....he wants us to TAKE HEART !!!!!

The worst moment of our lives is the most POWERFUL message we will ever deliver if we respond well......

Rain

As I watch the rain fall...there are many things that go through my thoughts....

RAIN:

Refreshing

Cleansing

Makes the grass green

Makes the flowers bloom April showers bring forth May flowers :)

The trees bud

Good to drink satisfies our thirst..

Washes the dirty sidewalks and streets

Settles the dust

What does it do for me???? God's word is like the rain

It cleanses my life....

It refreshes my thirsty heart

Purifies my life

Washes me and makes me a "clean" person

It causes my roots to go deeper

Drink of the Well and live!!!!!

Had to think of this song ....by Michael W Smith

Let it rain, let it rain.
Open the floodgates of Heaven
The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad
Let the distance shores rejoice
Clouds and thick darkness surround him
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne
A fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side
His lightning lights up the world
The earth sees and trembles
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord
Before the Lord of all the earth
The Heavens proclaim His righteousness
And all peoples will see His Glory
We want to see Your Glory, God! 
Do you want to see His Glory?
Lift your voices, lift your hands! 
Let it rain, let it rain.
Open the floodgates of Heaven

Umbrellas at all times....

 Sine I have been in the City, one thing that caught my attention right away and I am still "digesting" it :) Is the "use" of the umbrellas...You see them at all times and any time of the year...
There are all colors, shapes and sizes!!!
We need them when the sun shines...

When it rains....

Yes even when it snows....

And have learned we need to carry it with us at all times....never know when we will need it...

God's Word is like the umbrella...I need to carry it with me at ALL times.....
I need it to ward of the "cold" ....the "winter" season in my life that I go through at times...
I need it to ward of the "hot" sun...the times I am going through the "fire" of God purifying me...
I need it through the "rain"..the times I fall down on my knees and "cry" out to God..whether it is for my life or for a friend that God has brought into my path...

I NEED to "carry" it in my heart...so when God prompts me to speak..I have the "tools" ...

So friend..Pick up "your umbrella " ..........

****WHITE AS SNOW***

 We have been blessed with snow in the city this year. I am loving it but here are some thoughts that keep "rolling" around "in my head"

• Snow is "pure" and white....
• Snow reminds me of a clean slate...a new life...that is set before us and it has not been "trodden" on....
• Each snow flake is unique and different....
• Makes everything look clean...covers up the "dirt"
• Makes a lot of people "smile" and have lots of fun with it:)..snow angels...snowmen...snowball fights...forts..and a host of other things...

But then it becomes "dirty". 

• Trash bags get buried in it...ripped..and trash scattered all over the sidewalks....
• All colors of bags and boxes thrown on top of the "banks" thrown on top waiting to be picked up...
• Gets muddy...black...packed down and "hard"
• All kinds of "yellow and brown" spots left behind from "animals"

God wants my life to be pure....He wants to talk all the "ugly" stuff out of it and make it white as the snow!!!!!

What is it in my life that God wants to "change" ??

To make beautiful and "unique" to bring Him the Glory that only He is worthy of receiving??

1 Purer in heart, O God,
Help me to be;
May I devote my life
Wholly to Thee.
Watch Thou my wayward feet.
Guide me with counsel sweet;
Purer in heart,
Help me to be. 

2 Purer in heart, O God,
Help me to be;
Teach me to do Thy will
Most lovingly.
Be Thou my friend and guide,
Let me with Thee abide;
Purer in heart,
Help me to be

3 Purer in heart, O God, 
Help me to be; 
Until Thy holy face 
One day I see. 
Keep me from secret sin, 
Reign Thou my soul within; 
Purer in heart, 
Help me to be.